Lost opportunities, lost possibilities

Staring at you from afar,
Looking at you, while looking at my fidgety feet.
Stealing glances when you walk towards the basketball court looking wow so cool!!
Hanging out with your bunch of cool jocks, they don't look so bad either but then my eyes locks down on you.

This warm fizzy feeling is bubbling inside my heart, like a can of coke, it wants to burst out.
But like a demented fool, I can't get these words out, "I like you, do you like me?"

We know each other as friends,
but my feelings ran deep.
My face might give it away,
turning scarlet, as he talks to me this way.
Feigning excuses of heat & weather can't save me all 365 days of the year. Duh!!

Concealing my feelings way too hard, feel like I'm suffocating, keeping all bottled up inside.
Should I just tell him or should I just wait till he breaks up with this girl he's dating (should be about a week at most)

'Twas like a sign from above, going together on a school summer trip.
I clapped my hands & twirled around,
my happiness knew no bound.

To see him everyday for the next 7 days, I was elated & excited with no thought of the perils that awaited me.

The painful trek left me in dumb daze. Mind empty of any romance or any thought of love confession. But like a gallant knight, he came to my rescue, held my hands, blew his warm breath on my rain drenched palms. I could feel the cold melting away replaced by an unknown warmth crept up my spines and spread all over my cheeks. Here I go again, blushing like an idiot. My hidden feelings so completely exposed.

He knows, I'm sure, if not, he's a fool or he's putting on an act so as not to embarrass me by rejecting me. I don't even know what I'm thinking, let alone what he's thinking.
Say something, open your mouth and say anything, this silence is killing me. Then out of the blues, he pushed my head on his shoulder fanning my forehead with his warm breathing. I WENT NUMB!!
Thought I died and went to heaven. I was dreaming, this can't be true, is this really happening??

Thats when I saw my ride coming, an ugly lil' HorAss (mix of horse + ass). Sat atop the pony, awkwardly, failing terribly in making a pretty picture no matter how hard I tried. I held on to it for my mere life.
Bumpy bumpy ride made my stomach wobble and my face cringed in pain. He was there beside me in an instant & held my hand till the end. My Hero!!

Well once we reached the base camp, I was shifted to the girls accommodation, where tried to make myself decent. Then we all met at a tiny tea stall next to the camp. I had so much to say to him, but it was all inside my head & nothing seemed to be coming out of my wretched mouth which refused to open and even utter.
As they say "no guts no glory", in my case "no courage no confession". I couldn't muster up courage (guts) to confess my feelings for him and everything was just left unsaid and I just hoped & hoped that he would miraculously or telepathically understand how I feel for him. Hilarious isn't it!!
Well I definitely said thank you though for rescuing me... to him and to all the other guys as well. :(

The remaining trek went in a complete daze.. blissful daze. He never left my side, we walked hand in hand almost throughout the journey. He was just afraid to let me out of his sight. :) Me Happy!! Who wouldn't be right!!

So that was that, we were back in the city, back in the school and everything went back to square one. Like nothing happened, you know, nothing memorable, everything forgotten. Thats how I felt.
He never mentioned anything about 'US' in the trip whenever we spoke fondly about the summer trip. I felt disappointed and whole lotta sad :( :(
But when a boy from another section proposed and I said Yes, his reaction was not normal, he looked upset and his displeasure showed on his face or was it just my imagination.

Well what can I say, I guess that was my first love and unrequited one at that... and I always regret not telling him and wonder till date "what if I had confessed", would things have been different...

But one good thing came out of this sad love story, a never ending friendship.. we still remain best of friends, and I hope this friendship lasts forever.